The Saints of Festus - Coming to FringeNYC August 11 - 27, 2006!

Written and Performed by Scott Hess

Directed by David Drake

MOTHER LOVE

A slightly bitter, angry, bible-thumping Southern granny with a passionate dedication to her church and the ladies of Festus.

BREENIE JEFFERSON

Fat, lazy, mean-spirited trailer trash with a raw sense of humor, this middle-aged native of Festus will run you down in the Wal Mart parking lot and never look back.

BLONDIE HAG

A baton twirling bundle of fire.

CINDY DUPRIS

Miss Missouri, first runner up, 1987, and part-time resident of Festus where her husband’s famed chicken ranch is based. A manufactured beauty with the botox bills to prove it, she turned in her Tierra years ago for a millionaire husband and a mansion on the hill.

LEATHER

An aging, lesbian country singer who’s seen it all touring the South. She and her partner Lace are blowing through Festus for one night (and looking for a free meal) on their way West.

MILDRED TATTLETITS

A harmless, silly, middle-aged spinster who jumps at Mother Love’s command.

SIZZLELEAN TANNER

(photo taken in 1936)

The oldest woman in Festus, she was conceived at the first Quilting bee 100 years ago. A rock of the town.

DIXIE MCCOY

The stacked, 18-year-old ingénue of Festus, with big dreams, a big heart and an uncanny beauty that belies her roots. She idolizes Dolly Parton, the Dixie Chicks and local beauty queen Cindy Cash.

LACE

Leather’s main squeeze and guitar strumming partner, Herb to her Kiki, Captain to her Tennile, Sonny to her Cher. Lace never speaks.

STONE

Clinically insane, this New York City street activist shows up every year for the Festus quilting bee with posters illustrating her cause dujour (women’s rights, animal rights). She hates men, carries a megaphone everywhere she goes, and is tireless in her ranting.

SHOWTIMES

SUN 8/13 @ 6:45pm – WED 8/16 @ 4pm – FRI 8/18 @ 9pm – SAT 8/19 @ NOON – WED 8/23 @ 7pm